Dear Art therapy

You are my saviour, my constant companion, my healer, my fun and my source of income.

Art therapy you called me to a group.   I thought why not? I guess I could try, but I can’t do art.  You directed me to some rocks and urged me to draw.  I copied others drawings and created dragonflies and other patterns on the rocks.  They were made to gift to others suffering from Road Trauma. Creating in this group with others somehow gave me solace, in a very dark time.   Making art felt positive. 

Art therapy you then urged me to try a different type of art making, felting.  Wet felting and dry felting.  You said “use the art materials as a medium to pour your heart out, put it all into the art, it will hold it all for you.”  I poured all of my pain, my guilt, my fear, my uneasiness, my awkwardness and my questions into my art making.  I used lots of different materials, paint, sharp wire, kitchen spices, shoes, foil, anything and everything that represented the outpourings of my body and mind.  My art held it all, all of it, I was released from the burden of carrying it around.

Art therapy you had so many ideas, “Go to school and learn more,” you said.  I replied, “No way I can’t do that, I can’t draw!”  but gently you coaxed me, “Please give it a go.”  So I enrolled.  At art therapy school I learnt to trust other people.   You brought me together with the most non judgemental people that I had ever met.  I learnt how to BE myself, not trying to fit in or be like another, but be the authentic me.  These people accepted and loved me, just as I was.  I never knew this could be possible, without conditions and without trying to be like them, or fit in with them.  Amazing!!

You slowly chipped away at my walls, exposing me to new ways of being, bringing possibilities unheard of.  You brought to my awareness some of my conditioned patterns that were keeping me stuck in a rut.  You introduced me to concepts like; projection, self love, that thoughts are just thoughts not who you are, and to be able to feel my feelings.

Art therapy, coaching me how to feel my feelings, to know where I felt them in my body and then to represent them into my art, was life changing.  When the feelings had no words, you asked, “Is there, a texture, a temperature, a colour, a sound, a smell, a shape, that might capture it?”  You said “ no longer push down your feelings but instead notice them and just let them be, they will subside when it is time.”

You giggled as you released your magical powers to heal.  You know me so well, and know of my inherent unlimited potential.

You showed me that I have my own answers, that together we can do anything.  That my creations and art making can uncover what I need to know and catapult me into action, to make change, or try something new.

You told me, “There is nothing wrong with you.”  You showed me I could love myself with all of the imperfections.  You taught me that if MY opinion of myself was the only one that mattered in MY life then I could choose to treat myself with kindness, compassion and love, instead of the mean voice.

You told me things I needed to hear, things I needed to understand.

‘Embrace your creative ability,”  I heard you murmur.  And I do.  I love to create and play and try out new art materials to see what they can do.  You have helped me grow the skills I need to explore and learn.

You pleaded, “Never compare yourself to others.”  Other peoples art or their lives are no better than mine, we are all original, they can not be like me and I can not be like them.  I learn’t that to judge myself or anyone is futile.

You gifted me lifelong friends.  I am forever grateful to those who travelled alongside me and me alongside them as we discovered and explored the magic of you.

Art therapy you whispered “Listen.”  I listen to myself and listen to others.  Fully listen with my whole being.  

Art therapy you have given me joy, a new perspective of a wonderful life that I never thought possible.  You continue to help me see others through the lens of my heart.

Art therapy you have blessed and continue to bless me with presence and magic and I am forever grateful.